Friday, May 20, 2011

Wedding Vows

I'm talking to my friend whose son got married 2 years ago and how she is almost done with a scrapbook (of their wedding day) she is making for them.

While reviewing it, she notices that the official paperwork from the court - the one with their vows on it - had a typo.  For both the bride and the goom, this is what it says:

"For better or for worse.  For richer or for pooper."

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Hanging with mom

Set the stage:  I'm at the pool doing some paperwork while my son is in his class in the pool.  My husband gets through with scouts and he and my daughter stop by on their way home.  (Yay!  I love surprises, even something this simple.)

Story line:  My husband is getting ready to leave and asks my daughter if she wants to go with him or stay here with her mom and brother.  She stops to think about it and he takes the opportunity to encourage her to stay here and he'll be right back.  She's silent for a few more moments.  I look at her and ask her, "You wanted to go with your daddy, hu."  She is looking down and after a few more seconds perks her head up and in an exasperated voice tells me, "It's not that you're uncool or anything . . . "

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Cat vs. Chickens

Now those of you who know my daughter know that she LOVES critters.  Doesn't matter.  Dogs, cats, goats, sand fleas, doesn't matter - she's going to hold and take care of them.  Well we got chicks a few months back and they've recently moved into the dog run, which will be their home. 

Meanwhile, for the past few years, there is a black and white cat in our neighborhood that my daughter loves.  It knows that it is very welcome here.  So on its last visit to our house - low and behold - it discovers our chickens.  And decides they look quite tasty.  And my daughter did something I have never seen her do before.  She got mad at an animal in our yard.  REALLY mad!  It was a while before that cat came back.

A few days later it did make it's way back.  I look out the window and this is what I see.  On the open side of the chicken's fenced in pen, the cat is hissing and trying to get at the chickens.  One of the older chicks (they're about 1/2 grown now) is standing right on the other side of the fence looking at the cat, raises up on its feet to reach it's full height, starts flapping its wings at the cat and making it's own chewing out noises.  I kid you not.  That cat got so mad it starts digging fiercely to get under the fence.  The chicken seemed to know it was safe and to me it seemed like it was taunting the cat, "Neener neener!"

And then my daughter ran out and chased the cat away.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

The Real McCoy

At lunch, we had strawberries.  Yummy!  A 3 year old little guy holds his up to me and asks,
"What flavor is this?"

Monday, May 16, 2011

New Conditioner

So I'm sitting on the floor playing blocks with little ones when a 3 year old little guy is running past me and stops.  He looks at me funny and walks closer, smells my hair, and smiles big.  "Your hair stinks!"

"Come here!"  He calls to the other kids.  "Come smell her hair!  It stinks!"  While a 2 year old girl thought it smelled good and was ready to fight about it, a 4 year old boy relunctantly agreed, that yes - it did stink.

Moral of the story:  when buying new products for your hair, no matter how big of a hurry you are in, take time to test smell it first.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Ice Cream!!

You know there's a reason why you put ice cream in a bowl.  While talking to my family, I pull out a new box of ice cream.  Just gonna have a few bites, not worth a bowl.

Thirty minutes later and between all of us the box is 1/3 of the way gone.  Yikes!  Next time - I'll get bowls.

Saturday, May 14, 2011


You know your kid has watched too much "Tangled" when they tell you this:

"I'm gonna throw my hair at you!"

Friday, May 13, 2011

Think Disneyland

Got this email today, and anyone who has ever been to BYU Women's Conference can attest that the lines are the worst part of the entire thing.  Now we have a LOT of fun despite it, and really it's the only bad part of the entire deal, but when I got this email it was too funny not to share:

If you're curious about this, you can go to facebook and look under Liz Lemon Swindle  :)

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Best Candles EVER!

My daughter wakes me up at 2:30 am and I'm thinking to myself, great.  I literally cannot open my left eyelid I'm so tired.  But she needs me so I push through it.  She's doesn't feel good and has thrown up.  And she's crying because she tried so hard to make it to the bathroom and didn't.  And I've ingrained it in their heads to throw up anywhere except on the carpet.  Blankets, clothes, the couch, anywhere except the carpet.  And that's where she made it.  Poor girl.  As I'm getting up, I walk by our dresser and stop.  We just got some new candles and I grab one and light it.  Can I tell you what an awesome job it did to keep the smell at bay?  The only time I got the horrid smell was when I left the candle's vigil.  So I'm thinking it's one amazing candle.  Cause if it can cover vomit stench, it's doing a fantastic job in my book.  So today I'm really glad for these awesome candles:

Monday, May 9, 2011

One Liners

(With much excitement.)  "I'm getting my mom a HAMMER for Mother's Day!"

"Hey you know how websites are .com?  Well I just figured out that the dot is a period."

Saturday, May 7, 2011


One week ago today, I awoke to 5 inches of snow on the ground.  Woo-hoo!  After dragging my sister outside like a little kid, I tell her, "Do you know how far I have to travel to see this stuff?"  She's from Wyoming and her unimpressed expression told it for her, "Do you know how far I have to travel to get away from this stuff?"

Friday, May 6, 2011

Remember where you are ...

My sister and I were walking on campus at BYU and just having a regular conversation.  During this conversation, she is telling me how she didn't eat when she was suppose to and now has a migraine coming on - and that she's decided to go back to the hotel, strip, and take a nap.  Laughing at her choice of words and not wanting to find her like that when the rest of us return, I tell her, "You better not get naked ..." right as a BYU male student starts to pass us on his bike but instead rides off the sidewalk, almost crashes into a tree, and wobbles on the bike trying to keep his head down and get back to the pavement.  Oops.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Where is that?

Another fun moment in the airport (come on, gotta take them when you can) - there is a lady standing about two feet away from me talking very loudly on her phone.  This is what I hear:

"We're in Utah waiting to switch planes."

"It's a state ..."

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Am I at the airport?

You know the routine at the airport security.  Shoes off - shuffle your stuff around - everything out of your pockets - are you wearing a belt? - good luck with the kids and strollers - and the just the general mayham of it all.  Well last week while I'm getting ready for my turn, I pause.  Am I really hearing what I think I'm hearing?  Looking around to survey, yup - there is a lady on the other side of security playing an accordian of carnival music.  Very fitting.