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Friday, December 14, 2012

Perspective

My daughter is doing a play-a-thon for her band at school, which included getting pledges.  Not wanting to bother people, I told her she could only call 3 people.  One of those 3 was her Aunt Connie.

When my sister mailed her a check for $10, she also included a note that read:

Thanks for keeping 
me a part of things that 
are happening in your life.  
Kick butt!!!  
Love, 
Aunt Connie

I've read this letter several times and it still puts a smile on my face and tears in my eyes.  Thanks for caring about my daughter Connie.  And thanks for the example of "what perspective will you take" - and taking the time to talk to her.  It makes me so happy when she knows she's important!

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

BTW

My friend's story:

I needed to write my daughter's teacher a note, and I did it quickly since her bus was coming.  After she was gone I realized, I wrote that note to the teacher in text format!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Thank you Fortune Magazine

What not to put on a resume
These are taken from real Resumes and Cover Letters, and were printed in the July 21st issue of "Fortune" Magazine:
  1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms."
  2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
  3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
  4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
  5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
  6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
  7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
  8. "Let's meet, so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
  9. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
  10. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
  11. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
  12. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."
  13. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in Meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."
  14. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
  15. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
  16. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
  17. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
  18. "Marital status: often. Children: various."
  19. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
  20. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."
  21. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."
These quotes were taken from actual Performance Evaluations:
  1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig."
  2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
  3. "This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be."
  4. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
  5. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
  6. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there."
  7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
  8. "This employee is depriving a village of an idiot."
  9. "This employee should go far and the sooner he starts, the better."
These lines are actual lines from Military Performance Appraisals:
  1. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
  2. A room temperature IQ.
  3. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
  4. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
  5. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
  6. Bright as Alaska in December.
  7. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
  8. He's so dense, light bends around him.
  9. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
  10. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
  11. Takes him 1 1/2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Ad

While flipping through the ads in the mail today, one slogan catches my eye.  It reads:
Happily Obsessed

I'm thinking, how many un-happily obsessed people have you actually ever seen?

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Today's Snack

So today's snack is different than yesterday's. 
What did I see as I walked into the kitchen? 
A big marshmellow being shoved into the sugar jar. 
"It isn't brown sugar mom!"

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Really?

100% truth here.  I walk into the kitchen and there is one of my children, with their hand not in the cookie jar, but in the brown sugar container!  Snack of choice today brought to you by C&H, brown sugar.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Socks

Today I bought my husband some new socks.  The care label states,
"Do Not Iron."

Bummer!  I can't iron these babies!  Talk about bursting my bubble!
I'm going to cry now.  Probably from laughing so hard.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Good Night Music

While attempting to get my kids to bed, I start serenading
from The Music Man,
"Goodnight my sweet ones goodnight my loves
(cause I'm singing it to my kids so there's a little improv)
Goodnight my sweet ones goodnight
I wish I may and I wish I might ...

To which my daughter starts improv-ing as well
with a very appropriate made up tune:
"Mom!  I need a drink of water!
Mom!  I want a piece of bread!
Mom!  Read me a story!
Mom!  I don't want to go to bed!"

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Chickens & Bugs

Cute 4 year old little girl asks me, "Why are the chickens outside?"

I tell her, "Because that's where the bugs are.  They like to eat them."

With total shock she replies, "They like to eat the bugs?"

Half laughing, I tell her, "Yes.  They think bugs are yummy. 
I don't think bugs sound yummy."

Before I can ask what she thinks she tells me,
"I don't thing bugs are yummy.  I think donuts are yummy."

Monday, October 8, 2012

Puts a smile on my face

After quite possibly THE BESTEST weekend of my entire life!!!  Yes my husband totally rocks!!!  I'm kind of tired today.  And it's Monday morning and this is another jammed packed full week, and being tired isn't quite the best way to start.  So after I stayed in bed 20 minutes longer than normal, I find myself standing in the kitchen asking my kids if they mind eating lunch at school today.  My youngest looks at me like I've just flung spitballs at her and my oldest hangs his head and mutters, "Yeah."  (But not really.)

That was the pick-er-upper I needed.  My kids like their home-made lunches!  :)  That sure puts a smile on my face.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Tales from Middle School

My daughter told me a story about what happened in her math class.  This boy wearing a spider man shirt climbed out the window during class.  Nobody except his group noticed on round 1, so he did it again.  This time the teacher caught him and told him that we don't climb outside the windows in this classroom.

My daughter was telling me how he hardly got in trouble at all.  My son told her that it was good for him. 
My daughter replied, "But not good for the audience."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Have some ketchup.

Perhaps you've seen the t-shirt that reads:
 "I have ketchup with my ketchup."

My son owns one in bright red. 

Today he's eating scrambled eggs.  This is what he's doing:  getting eggs on his fork.  Looking closely at it.  Takes the bottle of ketchup and puts some directly on the eggs that are on his fork.  Puts the ketchup down.  Inspects the food on his fork again, I'm guessing he's making sure there's at least a 50/50 mixture.  When he's satisfied, in his mouth it goes.

And then he's repeating the process with the next bite.  And the next.  And the next. 

Lol, it was too funny watching, had to share.  :)

Monday, September 17, 2012

What was that you said?

My daughter is reading a book and finds out the main character is 22.  Surprised, she asks me, "Mom, she's 22?"

My reply, "Yes.  Kind of young, hu?"

While looking down into her book she replies, "Kind of old."

Me, "What?"

She looks up at me and straight faced tells me, "Ya mom.  Kind of young."

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Getting to Know You

It's back to school, and my daughter was filling out one of the famous "getting to know you" papers.  On it, she is asked to fill out her hobbies.  Her reply, "Music, art, and bugging my dad."

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

yup

We're at church this past Sunday and saw our friend
who just had her baby about 3 weeks ago. 
She is very thin and beautiful, and doesn't look like she's ever
been pregnant.

After walking away, my youngest leans into me and whispers,
"See mom?  She's had a baby and her body is pretty."

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

What?

Last night we're checking my daughter's alarm 
for this morning and guess what was playing on the radio?

I'll be hooooome for Christmas ......

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Oops

Today is laundry day and after camping, there is a LOT!  So first there is a lot of camping clothes to sort into their piles.  And then asking the kids to come sort their laundry.  And again asking the kids to come sort their laundry.  Get the first load going.  Ask the kids again for their laundry telling them to come sort it or it isn't getting washed today.  Walk away.

Finally I get the last wash started, and everything is even folded and taken care of from all of the other loads.  Yes!  As I'm putting the laundry stuff away, I notice a hat that didn't get washed.  Woops, guess I'll just put it in my hamper and get it next time.

Hey, look at that in my room.  My hamper, full of clothes.  That didn't get washed.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

While talking to my almost 4 year old niece, we're discussing what happens at different ages. 

Me, "What happens when you turn 4?"

My niece, "I get my ears pierced!"

Me, "What happens when you turn 5?"

My niece, "I get to go to school!"

Me, "What happens when you turn 8?"

My niece, "You get OLD!"

Friday, August 10, 2012

That's my girl

Gotta hand it to my daughter, she's pretty smart.  While driving home, she wants to start poking her brother but knows she won't get away with it.  Hmmm.  What to do?  Smart girl that she is, she grabs her cell phone, turns on one of my favorite songs, puts it on my shoulder nearest her so I hear the music instead of her, waits till I'm happily singing away, and then proceeds to poke her brother with confidence.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Gross

Hate to admit it, but it's funny so I will.  :)

Yesterday we're driving home and I'm in the middle of a HUGE yawn with my mouth wide open when I notice something white moving very quickly towards my mouth.  Can't close my mouth, can't close my eyes, and then it's gone!  I'm choosing to believe that the wind from the open windows swept it away from me very quickly at the last moment.

Friday, July 20, 2012

While changing a baby's stinky diaper, a cute three year old girl tells me:
"That is so icky in my nose!"

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Puts a smile on my face

Cute little 5 year boy whom we LOVE, loves to say the prayer and lately has been including this:
"I hope Dustin has fun on his motorcycle today"

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Lunchtime

5 year old boy mischievously tells me:
"Look.  I ate all around my string cheese and now it's naked."

Monday, July 16, 2012

Perspective

Two year old little girl, "I peed my panties!"

As I start cleaning her up, she joyfully tells me, "It's okay!"

Five year old little boy standing near by mumbles, "It's okay, but not really."

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Saga Continues . . .

Since I've last posted about the tooth fairy, 2 more teeth have been placed under my daughter's pillow.  The second tooth was placed there last night, it's one she's been holding onto for a few months because she wasn't ready for the tooth fairy yet.  Which means, she hadn't decided on which tactic to take to try and catch the tooth fairy.  (hee hee)

Last night she decided she was ready.  And made it very very easy for us, I mean er - the tooth fairy, to reach her envelope with the tooth in it.  Right on the side of her pillow.  Not even underneath, were are all of the little traps we, er again I mean the tooth fairy has to avoid?!?

So inside her envelope is a wadded up tiny piece of tissue.  No tooth.  So what did she find in the morning?  Two crispy tiny printed off dollar bills.    :)

Friday, July 13, 2012

Where are we?

Five year old, "Are we at the bank?"

Me, "Nope, we're at the post office."

Five year old pauses

Then asks, "Who's 'The Post'?"

Monday, July 9, 2012

Back & Forth

If you'll recall, my youngest is in an epic battle to catch the tooth fairy.  She has set several traps with bells, snares, and even elaborate plans that involved her CD player.  Last night she even enlisted her brother's help and convinced him to sleep in her room and attempt to stay awake all night (lasted till 12:00) to catch the tooth fairy in action!  Here's a link to a letter she's left in the past: http://life-can-be-funny.blogspot.com/2011/06/tooth-fairy.html#links

And here's the letter my daughter received last night:

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Tonight after my student's piano recital, I was chatting with a parent when she told me about a conversation she had with her son, my student, while they were driving.

His mom, "What do you think you'd like to do when you grow up?"

My piano student, "Be a piano teacher.  Can I do that?"

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Rhythm's Gonna Get You!

My son woke up tired today, but determined to get his chores finished so we can get to the park.  One of the things on his list today was to take care of the chickens.  So the house is nice and quiet and he walks out the door to gather eggs, make sure they have enough food / water, etc.  As he walks back into the house, his dad has started to play "We Will Rock You".  We like that song a lot and upon hearing it, my son immediately starts jamming out (is that term still used?) - and a moment too late remembered that there use to be eggs in his hands.  No mud in your face today, that would be eggs on the legs.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Today I am watching a cute 5 year old boy for a few hours, kids are so much work but just pure joy!!!

We're making brownies and as he jumps onto the chair to reach the mixing bowl he tells me, "When I step with these shoes I step on germs.  That's why I run a lot and so fast at recess so I can kill a lot of germs."

I sure miss those little ones!

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Irony

We're talking to our gas attendant, cause we're spiffy like that and never fill our own gas, and he's wearing a Vietnam Veteran hat.  And he's ranting on how much he hates what the government has turned into and than tells us, "Wait.  You've got to see this!"  He takes off his hat and shows us the tag, "Made in Vietnam".

(Where we live, it really is illegal to pump your own fuel, lol.)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

My youngest has just discovered my blog.  She has known about it, but has just taken an interest in reading it.  Whether it's genuine interest or just a great stall for bedtime tactic, I'm not sure.  I keep my blog "clean" so yes, I let her read it for a bit, and walk out of the room.

Fast forward a few minutes.  She yells, "Mom!  What is IM-PO-TENT?"  (May 15, 2012 post, http://life-can-be-funny.blogspot.com/2012/05/new-word.html )

My husband's IMMEDIATE response heard from the other room, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!"


* * *


The reading continues.  She gets to the post from February 27, 2012 and yells, "Daddy!  How could you?!?!"   ( http://life-can-be-funny.blogspot.com/2012/02/new.html )


Well that's when my husband decided to enforce bedtime.  :)

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

After reading the previous posting, my daughter tells me not to feel badly, because daddy is older. 
And then proceeds to mock her father for his age. 

His response, "That's it.  You're not getting a birthday present this year."  (Yes he's teasing.)

With a slight question in her eye, she asks me,
"Mommy, will I still get a telescope for my birthday?"  -pause-  "This year?"

Monday, June 4, 2012

"Never ask a woman her age."  A saying that is right under, "Never ask a women if she's pregnant."  Well I've never had a problem with the first question, and recently have begun to wonder why this adage is so strong.  Today I found out.

While discussing a math problem, a fellow student (I really thought he was older than me), reveals the year he graduated high school.  I look at him and say, "That's the year my youngest was born."  (I know, my mistake for bringing it up.)  Of course he asks me how old I am.  Looking at him and wondering if I should tell the truth, I pause for a bit before answering honestly. 

His physical response gave me the answer to why you never ask a woman her age.

He literally rocked backwards as if a full force baseball hit him in the face. 

Ya.  I'll never tell again.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Preoccupied

You know sometimes you're in a zone and even if what you're trying to find is standing in front of you, you have a hard time seeing it?  Well that didn't happen to me the other day.  But it did for another lady.

I'm walking out of a bathroom stall, and there's an older lady standing in the corner bent over looking to see if there are feet in the stalls.  Since I'm walking out of a stall, naturally I'd expect her to stop.  But she doesn't.  She's trying to look around me, annoyed that I'm in her way.  I badly wanted to say, "There's not another person in there ..." but held my tongue. 

And I'm really hoping she was just in that zone.  I'm telling myself she was.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

If I'd Known Then ...

Sitting at lunch the other day, the conversation turned what you've been pulled over for, and the tickets received.  One guy said, "If I'd known I was going to get as many tickets as I have, I would've starting framing them.  You know, I'd probably have a 24X24 by now!"

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

New Word

Sometimes it can be dangerous learning new things.  Like when you're taking your new found knowledge out for a test spin, it's good to do it away from the person who's going to blog about it.  :)

But I don't name names and I usually ask permission so it's all good.  Right? 

We're sitting at lunch and my friend tells the rest of us about a new word she has learned.  "Indolent" - it means lazy.  We're chatting about how it's a fun word and sounds sophisticated and nothing like what it really means.  And then we start practicing how to use this new word.

One friend, "I'm feeling indolent today."  (Imagine the high and mighty voice, and the wide sweeping gesture with the arm ... )

Another friend, "What an indolent day it is." 

And yet another friend, "Are you impotent today?"   Oops, wrong word.

Monday, May 14, 2012

My Man's Hands

We're sitting in church yesterday and my husband has his arm around me.  At one point, he makes an interesting face - a little boy behind him had started to pet his hand.  Yes, pet - just like you would an animal.  The boy's mom immediately swats his hand down and quietly asks him what he's doing.  Not so quietly in reply he tells his mom, "I was petting his hand mom - it's so hairy!"

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Mother's Day

... or rather the day before at my local Fred Meyer's from last year.  Don't let this be you!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Can you roll your r's?

I can't.  Never have been able to.  I can fake it, but it isn't even close.  My daughter finds great humor in this and today she's at it again, attempting to teach me how to roll my r's.  After laughing at me for a bit, she tries rolling her r's by sucking in instead of breathing out.  The result?  A hilarious sucking in sound - try it, it's funny sounding!  I immediately crack up and she tells me, "See mom!  That's how funny you are to me!"

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Yup, She's A Talker

My daughter's teacher told her today,
"You know, a person's jaw can only open and close so many times in a lifetime."

Monday, April 30, 2012

Ah, that's why.

Today during body conditioning class (weights), the coach walks over to me and asks me if I'm doing alright.  Ya, I tell him, and ask how he is return.  He's fine, and am I really okay?  Catching a glance at myself in the mirror, I'm reminded how red I am.  Since he didn't see me before class started, I know he doesn't know it's a sunburn.  I smile and tell him, "Yes, just got myself a nice sunburn this weekend."  His stance relaxes a bit and the conversation turns to the last baseball game.  :)  Nice man.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Sun? Again? What?

While we were blessed to see the sun last weekend, the past week was yes - more rain and cloudy weather.  The sun did shine for a bit today, and we happen to be outside during those few precious hours.  Without sunscreen on.  Because really, who needs that here?

Well, we should have.  And in the aftermath of our joyous afternoon in the sun, our search for aloe vera began. 

The first store, honestly I don't even know how the guy kept a straight face while asking me what type of aloe vera I was looking for, to eat?  Or what?  I'm as red as a lobster.  My daughter is making quiet comments for my ears only about his line of questioning and I'm trying so hard to keep a straight face.  No such luck.  No aloe vera.  Check back in the summer time.

Store number 2.  Well there's lotion with aloe vera and shampoo and soaps and all sorts of stuff, even liquid aloe vera for those who want to drink it?  (Have you ever tasted the aloe vera from an aloe vera plant?  You can't even get rid of that taste in your mouth with garlic ...)  We did end up asking for help again and this lady was bound and determined to find us some aloe vera.  Yup, the kind that reminds you of a dog with a bone.  And aloe vera stuff we did find.  Her approach was along the lines of, "You have to have lidocaine in it too.  You have to have the pain killer for your face.  Have you tried calamine lotion?  Or neosporin.  That'll help with the pain."  As she keeps looking at my face her determination keeps growing.  So do my daughter's comments about, "You have to have this!  You have to have this!"  -Again for my ears only.  So hard not to bust up.  It was hard for the helpful lady to let go and we left store number 2 without any aloe vera.  Got some ice cream though ; )

Store number 3.  After several relays of people asking people where the aloe vera, there was some aloe vera something - I didn't even recognize the first 5 ingredients and left.

Store number 4.  Yup, at this time I'm thinking it would've been smarter to drive the half an hour each way to the bigger town . . . we did our usual sweep of where I think it would be and then ask.  The answer is that it's on the other side of the store.  Okay.  Get over there, forget about looking, I'm going straight for the asking.  What's the answer?  Oh it's on the other side of the store.  I just stared at him and said, "that's what they told me over there."  My daughter is being the comic and I'm ignoring her at this point cause really, how many stores do you have to go to in a city that's sunless for half the year?  I'm starting to think - the world may never know.  The guy looks at my face, looks at my arms, and takes pity on me.  Puts down the stuff he's stocking and walks me around to the next aisle and said, "Maybe he's talking about this stuff."  And guess what.  Store number 4 has something that's close enough to aloe vera gel that I'll buy it.  And my daughter's almost looney at this point from cracking so many jokes.  We turned up the radio and sang loud all the way home.

As for the sun, well we have proof that it shone here.  At least for a few more days.

Monday, April 23, 2012

That's Oregon Baby!

If you're unaware, there are mainly 2 seasons on the western side of Oregon. 
The rainy season, and the sunny season.  Right now we're coming out of a rainy season.

Last night we're getting ready for bed and I notice a red section on each of my husband's arm. 
I'm kind of freaked out, because I cannot place where he would get these!

I cry out to him, "What did you do to yourself!"

He looks at me with the "are you serious or joking me?" look and replies slowly,

"It's a sunburn."

Oh.  Didn't think of that.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Texting Blunder

What the text said,
"Hey I sent you am email about slice rear special today only check it out k love you."

What it was suppose to say,
"Hey I sent you an email about police gear special today only check it out k love you."

And when you're really tired . . . this is really funny.  :)

Monday, February 27, 2012

New

With the exception of a few months (which my kids don't remember), it has never been just "my family" in my home.  And now it is.  While the anger at me for changing the situation is still there - thankfully it doesn't surface as much as it use to - our kids are starting to see the benefits.  For example, our son - while I'm writing this - is stringing yarn across the living room at different angles and lengths and seeing which is best for a zip line for different materials.  Like a paper clip.  Or a crochet hook.  Or combining the two.  Yup, good times are here.

Note:  It's my kids that aren't happy about the change.  My husband is the one who suggested it, had lots of questions about that on the phone.  :)  Thanks all!